Oh! The Trials n tribulations of being a new driver (kinda!!)

 

Sooo.hello again! yea yea I know, its been a long time..a lot has happened. I finally applied for and got my license and it has been a tumultuous ride...

So, this is going to be my attempt to get back to writing. Its high time and I enjoy it too much to completely let it go even if I'm drowning in my list of to do items.

Back to the point. I got my license after 4 attempts (whew!!) in June. I did try a couple of Udrive cars around, it was nice but I wasnt able to completely settle in as there seemed to be minor variations in each (minor for experienced people - not me) . For me, these minor issues were actually major major issues. Even the position of the window button could set me off!!

Hence a massive hunt was initiated for THE car. Now, I m not actually a techy person, so I would not actually be able to talk abt rpm or horsepower or mileage or whatever. I only hoped the car would be any color but white or black. Lol! I can see your thoughts go -Lame!! Well, we did go through many options from Toyota Corolla to Kia Sportage to Ford Ecosport to so so much more! I got exhausted and did the best thing possible - Left the whole matter to Allah and belived that He would guide my husband to my destined car!!

N voila!! We are now the happy owners of  a Mitsubishi Lancer -  a GT. (if you dont know what GT is, please Google it!! I did too) and guess what I have named her - Ms Tide . Why? Coz she s white!! If you have ever seen a Tide ad, you will know what I mean.

Well this series , which I hope to post on time will be my learning lessons with Tide. 

P.S to anyone wondering why the car in the pic is red, its not mine!!

Momma's guilt..

Every mom knows how precious time with her child can be... the fun, the games, the first steps, and the list goes on...

This does not mean that we mommies can go on without a break..we all experience fatigue, we could all do with a quiet moment, and potty training may not be the best entertainment ever ..you get the picture..its not all picture perfect with laughing kids and forever fresh mommas as we see in ads and movies (though we wish...)

I love my girls and we do have a lot of fun together. However, as a working mom, who spends close to 13 hours outside the home, I have to sometimes swallow a large dose of guilt. I call this the mommy guilt and I feel that this 'Momma guilt' is something many can relate to...

I miss so much of their lives... missed my pre-schooler's learning curve in teasing and pranking ..miss the time spent listening to what happened at school and daycare..miss holding her when she is not doing well and needs 'momma'.. We know it but feel the pinch each time. I could not go for my younger daughter's very first school admission interview and had to get a regular update from my hub who had accompanied her to her 'new' school.

The guilt is there when the doctor looks at me and tells me what precautions I need to take for her all day when I know I ll only be passing the info to my babysitter. The guilt is there when my elder one needs a favor or snack but looking at tired and cranky mommy , swallows her words. The guilt is there when I leave for work while she is sniffling with the cold, looking forlornly at me. While I could take off for comparatively worse health problems, I know the next cold cough season is only a month or two away and hence I can't take off each time.The house is a mess and probably will stay a mess until my 'free time'.

I know its only a matter of time before my girls get used to it and then they will be independent but for me, will I get used to it? Will I regret it later? This definitely does not mean that I want to stay at home but somehow, I can't help feel that pinch..that guilt. Do I envy stay at home mothers? Of course not..I have been at both ends and have experienced that feel too. There are advantages, there are disadvantages.

Do I think I would be a better parent if I could stay at home? Not necessarily. Does my guilt want to make me give up all my hobbies and passions in favor of more mum-child time? Definitely not. I guess what I need is a balance- between work and home and hobby. The child grows up seeing the parents and learns from it. Independence, decision making and a variety of skill sets start early, but momma's guilt stays..